The Proof of Feminity
by Midwich Cuckoo
Summary: Ernst confides to No-Girl that she doesn't feel a real feminine girl.


**Disclaimer:** the characters used in the story are the intellectual and financial property of Marvel, I used them just for entertainment. **Moviemom44 was the beta** – as always. I always wanted to write a fanfic with Ernst and No-Girl in. I hope you'll enjoy this short story.

**The Proof of Feminity.**

"That's unfair" – sighed Ernst, slightly bowing her head to take the next critical look at the objects of her irritation – for, it seemed, the hundredth time this afternoon. "Totally unfair".

The girl raised her head letting out another sigh of annoyance as she looked at Martha Johansson. Ernst could have sworn that she saw an amused look on her companion's face, but even she in her wretched paranoia, had to agree that one's face can't reflect anything when you just don't own it. Yes, her friend, reduced to a mere brain in a jar like in some s-f movie, didn't own a face nor any other body part for that matter and it was this that made her unable to fully comprehend the problem her friend was confiding to her now. Then again, Ernst didn't know too many other girls in the Institute who _would_ understand her small female problem.

"They are so small" – she unwillingly added. "And so flat and flabby looking. Angel Salvadore insisted on my letting her take a look at them. I didn't want to but she kept pestering so I let her do it and she told me that they looked wrinkled and that no real woman's...you know...would ever look like that."

Martha felt she needed to say something to console her friend who lost her self-confidence as a real feminine woman but no proper words wanted to come to her mind. "Well, maybe they aren't too big nor… well… as pretty as the other girls' ones but this is no proof of real feminity" - the brain girl began carefully. Her telepathic voice poured into the ears of her companion who was close to tears now. Clearly Angel's taunt touched her to the quick.

"I could stand Angel's comment" – Ernst said in a sad voice – "but that stupid Basilisk later overheard what we were talking about and said that mine weren't as pretty as the ones of the Three in One. He said theirs were really delicious-looking and would love to take them in his mouth while mine… mine were…"

The girl winced. The memory of what Basilisk, the dumbest and most vulgar boy in Xavier's Institute said was too unpleasant for her to even repeat it.

"Well, I can't blame him that he salivated at the thought of the ones of the Three in One" – Ernst said. "I really can't. Mine look ugly. Not only are they so small and flattened but they look even the dumber with those dumb pink round bits sticking out on the top like that."

"With the ekhemmm..._ cherries" – _corrected her telepath in an amused voice. "This is what I would call them, at least. And they don't look dumb, they make them look perky if anything. Cute, pink little balls. Hey, you know, speaking of the Cuckoos, Basilisk isn't the only boy who likes theirs. I overheard Irma's thoughts right before you came to me. She was in her room with Germaine, you know, this dude she has a crush on. He was just having one of Irma's ones in his mouth. His tongue was really busy. I bet Basilisk would have done anything to be in his place then". Both the girls giggled.

"Irma has the best ones out of the Cuckoos" – agreed Ernst. "So big and stuff… But the ones of Celeste and Phoebe also look great. Even _I _can see that. In all honesty, even _I_ would love to take a lick. But I am jealous as hell. I'm not truly feminine."

"Yes, you are" – smiled No-Girl. "You are a very feminine girl and don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. You are always so nice and caring and that's what really counts in a woman – not the looks or being a good cook or anything – it's the personality that counts."

Ernst looked at her friend floating in her container designed by Quentin Quire, still not feeling very consoled. Martha was a real good friend, even if she didn't probably fully understand what Ernst was going through. She couldn't – she had no body so some problems of teenage girls were beyond her. Even knowing that reminding Martha of what happened to her at the hands of the U-Men was waking the unpleasant memories in her, Ernst couldn't help but say what was on her mind.

"I appreciate your help. I really do. But I don't think you understand my issues. You are a brain in a jar. You can't understand me fully, being just a brain. A brain. You have no body. No legs. No breasts. No hands. Hands… If you had hands, you would have been in our cooking class today with us. Maybe then you would see how it is when you are preparing muffins with a cherry on top and everybody is telling you that when you can't cook you aren't a real feminine woman. And that all the girls, especially the Cuckoos can bake such pretty, delicious, big muffins their boyfriends help themselves with such delight, while yours, no matter what you do or how hard you try, always come up so flattened and shrunk."


End file.
